The Diagnosis...

There are days that go by without a care in the world. Without anything standing out to make that day seem "important or different." The day I heard Will's dx was not one of them.

Please understand a couple of things:

First - This is hard for me to write. My main goals for writing this blog is therapy for me and a way to relay this information to maybe, someday...help someone else. It breaks my heart to relive her words....

Secondly - In January of this year (2010) God told me we would find THE answer. He didn't say I'd like it. He didn't say it would fit nicely into a little box. He didn't give any clarity....just that it would be found. And, as weeks passed I realized that it may not be what I wanted but it would come crystal clear to me and my family. But, oh how I hoped it would be...ok.

Horribly sad story short...(oh, and she took the report back so I don't have all the fancy words in my head yet)

He has a mood disorder. (Yup)

He has PDD-NOS. Pervasive Developement Disorder Not Otherwise Specific. In short terms that is in the autism family, but not enough of the indicators to reach an autism diagnosis. So, it really means....something is really wrong...but don't know what. (Thanks a lot)

He had something else I cant' remember.

And, the one that physically is still hurting my heart....can't remember the real words for the diagnostic terms....

His IQ is 63.


What a blow to my heart and head.

A teacher is around 120.

Gardeners, Construction Workers, etc 90

70-79 - Borderline

Under 70 is Extremely Low

Will is 63

For those who know Will..you'll ask yourself...But, he's so smart? He builds things? He thinks of clever things? She said he creates an illusion of being smarter than he really is. He tries SO hard to please others by being "smart" and "well-behaved". Now, if you know Will he is NOT well-behaved.....so without his trying. Wheh!

His overall number is actually MR. mentally retarded... :( But, he scored in the 70's on some parts of the tests so he is labeled borderline. Of course, how LOW were his lows to average is 63? :(

He literally can't be better. Can't. Will never. It was like hearing my child is terminal...except he will still live. He'll live in his world that doesn't make sense....and our world doesn't make ANY sense to him.

She highly recommended that I stop homeschooling him. (major failure music play...) I started to tear up when she said this....Home needs to be only a "soft place to fall". School will always be hard. Learning will always be hard. Home needs to be a safe place.

So, I look at this little guy. And, I love him so much my heart hurts. He didn't deserve this blow. He has done nothing wrong. I know God didn't "do it to him". Our God is loving, merciful, precious God. He loves us. He loves Will.

But, I just don't know what the future holds. I don't know what tomorrow holds for us. I've already (many years ago) given up on college....on a normal life for Will. But, now... I know. I know. Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:27 I love how I write and God just POPS! into my head. :)

So, Dr. Britt told us she would be an advocate for us. She'll call Midway. She'll meet with them. He can learn...but at a much slower pace. By law, they HAVE to educate him. She said..we'll need to be the squeaky wheel. We'll need to keep on top of things. That is not my forte.

So..now I have no more mascara. But, I am listening to Selah sing....

Sweet Jesus

My Shepherd

You are my faithful friend

You hold me

You lead me

I'll follow till the end

And, once more I will say on that beautiful day

When your arms take me in

Sweet Jesus

My shepherd

You are my faithful friend.


Sweet...sweet Jesus.