A Peaceful Heart

Friday, April 15, 2011

A new season of life...

Well, I truly believe we are beginning a new season of life here in the Neimer house. I guess you could say I've felt "stuck" for a long time. But through God's Mercy we are truly beginning to thrive. God told me last year we would find out what was going on with Willie Pie. Raising a child on the Autism Spectrum is not for wimps. And, through many trials we found out what didn't work for Will. But, this spring new life is sprouting up like the bluebonnets in the fields. Will is doing REALLY well at Woodway Elem. His teacher and aides are amazing, Christian people. They love Will, work WITH him, believe in him, and are Believers in Christ. I could NOT ask for better people to be with Willie 8 hours a day. I feel so blessed. He is sleeping in his bed more often. Sleeping with a tornado isn't easy! So, both Brad and I are excited for him to stay in his own bed. He is talking to me about his feelings instead of using his hands and fists to express himself. He is being much kinder with his speech towards us. THIS is the Willie pie I love dearly. We all make mistakes....but it's what we DO with our mistakes that make us the people that we are. And, that is what I see with Will right now. And, I am so happy. God allowed us to sell our house without listing it....by owner or agent. I told a friend on fb and she told a friend on March 12th. Now, we will be closing on our new house on May 4th. God showed us His Mercy again by allowing us to skip the whole "keep the house spotless" thing. He knew the stress it would create on Willie. (and me!) He knew it would be so hard on all of us. And, His mercy just rained down on us. Things for so long looked so bleak. During this Spring time I feel so much lighter...and so thankful for our Lord's goodness. God is good....period.

Monday, January 17, 2011

This is it.....

Oooooh-waaah.. please let me know.
If this isn't love baby then...let me go!

Sorry. Once I chose that title I just had to finish the song lyric! (Still a music teacher at heart!) :)

This is it....Will starts back to Midway, Woodway Elementary, this Thursday.

Wow.

We have the ARD at 11:00 on Wed and then we are giving Will a tour of the school at 3:30 that afternoon.

Double wow.

I do have to say that God was/is/and will always be so amazing. I went into Woodway to register Will. And, well....his teacher just "happened" to be standing there. She asked me if we could talk for a little bit. (YES!)

We went back into an ARD room and talked for over an hour. I got to tell her about Will...his sweet spirit, his caring hugs, his violent temper, his misunderstandings about life. It was wonderful. The precious Vice Principal stopped in to say hi...he remembered me from mom teaching there and Tay being at that school. Then later the reading specialist and counselor stopped by. Before Will's teacher got to even say their names....they were both squealing with delight to see me. I've known them for 15 some odd years....

I left feeling VERY loved and VERY wanted at this campus. Not JUST me....But Will. My sweet Will is very much wanted at Woodway. And that made my mama's heart soar. (NOT that he wasn't at CC....just too many kiddos there)

I am excited about this week. We keep talking about how wonderful this school is. He tells me he's going to kick them. (Probably will...) But, I know in my heart of heart although this will be DIFFICULT...this is where he needs to be. I cannot teach him. He is not learning with me. I love him so much....and this is where he needs to go.

So...prayer requests....please pray we can articulate all of Will's (present) needs well on Wednesday. Sometimes I get so excited I forget things. And, yes...I will bring a cheat sheet of what we need to say. :) Two - That Will's anxiety level will be low on Thursday. He is truly terrified. Three - That Will can keep his anger down. I would like him NOT to hurt any of his teachers. Four - That he begins to LEARN this year. Really learn..... And five - That God will be glorified through this all. No matter what.....

It was a while back that I realized all stories don't have happy endings. See...I thought they did. I thought that God's Glory would be shown when He...as Casting Crowns says so well..Steps in to saves the day. But, I SOOO want to be able to HONESTLY say...But, once again. I say amen. And, it's still raining.

So, I leave you with Pastor Barry's Verse for our sermon at HBC -James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

God is good....Period.

Monday, January 10, 2011

A New Beginning....

Well, first let me thank everyone on here for your encouraging words and prayers. I haven't written back because truthfully I was totally overwhelmed. (In a good way) God is so good at all times.

**Before I begin....why do we feel God will leave us? Why do we not trust Him more? At ALL times?? Why is it so hard to trust the God of the UNIVERSE with our babies? I've already praised His name AND asked for forgiveness for my....unbelief.**

I was going to call Midway's school psychologist this morning. He is a very nice man that my mom taught his kids in Kindergarten. We had very positive dealings with him in the past. Yet, I was nervous. Very nervous. What if he was irritated we left Midway and now were coming back? (The evil one ran through my thoughts rampantly...and I allowed it) :( I even rehearsed what I would say last night in the shower. I was also worried about getting away from Will to be able to talk. Will does NOT like me on the phone...especially with a Dr.

This morning my allergy eyes wouldn't let me see clearly. So, before jumping into a Hardy Boys book, I told Will I wanted to rest them. Little did I know I would fall asleep only to be awakened by the phone ringing. (He was still asleep) I ran to the phone to see it was Castleman Creek. I thought it was my fabulous friend Jalayne calling. No..it was the special ed evaluation specialist from Castleman Creek.

I was shocked. She had gotten a message from our dr that Will was coming back. And, I said yes. She was ecstatic! She told me how everyone had missed us. That the school would be so happy to have Will back. We were one of her favorite families.

We talked for over 10 minutes. I relayed Will's scores and new diagnosis. We talked about getting him in as soon as possible. And, that we will have an ARD this week. (Admission, review and dismissal) I told her there is no hurry as I'm a SAHM now. I want this "right". She totally agreed and was so excited.

I told her the dr recommended speech and OT. I said we also need PT, as to he has lost some of his gross motor skills. She said she would get right on that.

I left the conversation just in awe of God. (Plus I was shakey AND kept making sure this wasn't a dream!!) He is the God of all. He is the God of everything. And, He is the God of my family. I can stand in awe of Him...but always I must remember...that is just His style. He is truly an Awesome God.

Sometime this week we will have the ARD. Then, on the 18th, he'll start back at Castleman Creek. He'll be in the IBIS class again. (Intensive Behavioral Intervention and Supports) My goal is to have him eventually mainstreamed into a regular ed. classroom. That may not come any time soon...but I'm just trusting God right now. He'll know when is best.

This is going to be hard. It won't be easy. But, that's ok. This is the right thing to do. We have God and I know He loves my Willie pie. He will never leave us nor forsake us.

Thank you Jesus.....

Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Diagnosis...

There are days that go by without a care in the world. Without anything standing out to make that day seem "important or different." The day I heard Will's dx was not one of them.

Please understand a couple of things:

First - This is hard for me to write. My main goals for writing this blog is therapy for me and a way to relay this information to maybe, someday...help someone else. It breaks my heart to relive her words....

Secondly - In January of this year (2010) God told me we would find THE answer. He didn't say I'd like it. He didn't say it would fit nicely into a little box. He didn't give any clarity....just that it would be found. And, as weeks passed I realized that it may not be what I wanted but it would come crystal clear to me and my family. But, oh how I hoped it would be...ok.

Horribly sad story short...(oh, and she took the report back so I don't have all the fancy words in my head yet)

He has a mood disorder. (Yup)

He has PDD-NOS. Pervasive Developement Disorder Not Otherwise Specific. In short terms that is in the autism family, but not enough of the indicators to reach an autism diagnosis. So, it really means....something is really wrong...but don't know what. (Thanks a lot)

He had something else I cant' remember.

And, the one that physically is still hurting my heart....can't remember the real words for the diagnostic terms....

His IQ is 63.


What a blow to my heart and head.

A teacher is around 120.

Gardeners, Construction Workers, etc 90

70-79 - Borderline

Under 70 is Extremely Low

Will is 63

For those who know Will..you'll ask yourself...But, he's so smart? He builds things? He thinks of clever things? She said he creates an illusion of being smarter than he really is. He tries SO hard to please others by being "smart" and "well-behaved". Now, if you know Will he is NOT well-behaved.....so without his trying. Wheh!

His overall number is actually MR. mentally retarded... :( But, he scored in the 70's on some parts of the tests so he is labeled borderline. Of course, how LOW were his lows to average is 63? :(

He literally can't be better. Can't. Will never. It was like hearing my child is terminal...except he will still live. He'll live in his world that doesn't make sense....and our world doesn't make ANY sense to him.

She highly recommended that I stop homeschooling him. (major failure music play...) I started to tear up when she said this....Home needs to be only a "soft place to fall". School will always be hard. Learning will always be hard. Home needs to be a safe place.

So, I look at this little guy. And, I love him so much my heart hurts. He didn't deserve this blow. He has done nothing wrong. I know God didn't "do it to him". Our God is loving, merciful, precious God. He loves us. He loves Will.

But, I just don't know what the future holds. I don't know what tomorrow holds for us. I've already (many years ago) given up on college....on a normal life for Will. But, now... I know. I know. Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:27 I love how I write and God just POPS! into my head. :)

So, Dr. Britt told us she would be an advocate for us. She'll call Midway. She'll meet with them. He can learn...but at a much slower pace. By law, they HAVE to educate him. She said..we'll need to be the squeaky wheel. We'll need to keep on top of things. That is not my forte.

So..now I have no more mascara. But, I am listening to Selah sing....

Sweet Jesus

My Shepherd

You are my faithful friend

You hold me

You lead me

I'll follow till the end

And, once more I will say on that beautiful day

When your arms take me in

Sweet Jesus

My shepherd

You are my faithful friend.


Sweet...sweet Jesus.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Back from Thanksgiving Break...

Did you know that I have TWO kiddos?? ;) I never ever want to seem like Taylor is in "the back of my heart and mind". Perhaps the saying...the squeaky wheel gets the oil is a correct assumption to make. It also NEEDS the oil.

Branson was fun. But, our vacations are never easy. (I know, I know...vacations are never easy with kids...but with Will there are some pretty harsh difficulties to work around) I'm super glad we got out of dodge. We ate some pretty yummy food, had a great time with my parents, and saw 3 amazing shows.

We had our first day of school today back from break. Will did great...until reading. He hates it. Have you ever tried to teach your cat to read? Yup. It's that easy with Will. I feel like I need some external help here. But, Will HATES doctors, testing, therapy, etc. So, perhaps I need to do some deep researching on reading disabilities. Anyone have some stored up extra time I can borrow?? ;)

Life is so full of interesting things. The more I am with Will....the more I SEE him through God's eyes....the more I love him. I need an extra dose of strength, patience, and love this week. I can just tell it. He is NOT the easiest kid to love....especially when he is threatening me. Or has his fist stuck in my face ready for battle.

Something to leave you with. Health IS so very important. It is. But, mental health? Oh man. I never, ever knew how important that is. I pray daily for Will's healing. I will never stop.

Friday, November 19, 2010

A New Beginning....

Well, we began the process today of testing for Austism and Asperger's Syndrome. We met with Dr. Katie Britt-Sharp at Waco Psychological. I can not say how impressed I was with her. She immediately put us all at ease. She asked Will if he would stay and play (in the lobby) while Brad and I went to talk with her. He said NO. She said Ok! Noooo problem. So, I went back there with her and Brad stayed.

We had a doctor one time INSIST that Will stayed in the lobby. It was the most horrific situation we've EVER been in. Not doing THAT again!

I went back for about 30 minutes and told "Will's life story". When problems began. What problems he has. How we have dealt with them. What meds he's on. The "schpill" as I like to call it.

She said with all I said he "fits" into autism. I had hit every point. **I was surprised. But not. Could MY son be autistic? I mean..the autistic kids I taught in public school didn't act like Will. He has great verbal skills. He is more coordinated. He is...well...could he be?**

He came in with Brad. She asked if it could just be herself and Will. He said, nope! She said, ok! And, she began creating a relationship with him. (Isn't that what life is all about...relationships? Isn't that what Jesus so desperately wants from us? A relationship with Him? Ohh..such a beautiful picture)

They played games. She allowed him to pick. He felt incredibly wanted and the center of the fun. She asked him to come back to play more. She'll bring her turtle. He was WAY excited at that. In fact, he really can't wait to go back! **The next eval is in December...and it'll be 4 hours of testing. Now, that could NOT be done...unless a very special dr performed this. I BELIEVE she'll get results!**

He was happy as pie when we left. He could have stayed longer. :) And, we just adored her sweet, tender spirit she had.

Tonight I started going through the "homework" I had to fill out. As I read the numerous packets of info to complete....my whole spirit began to sink. Oh, such sadness. Oh, such bad memories. Oh, the problems with my baby.

I honestly just wanted to rip those papers up and say...Nope! We're fine!! But, we're not. Just skimming through those papers....his difficulties are so many. So hard.

I had to call mom to help "pick me back up". I realize I need to fill those out when I'm super awake and joyful. My dad's favorite quote is so true...Vince Lombardi said...Fatigue makes cowards of us all. And, that is quite correct.

We go back, with homework in hand, on Dec 14th. I think my son is Austistic. I need to start saying that out loud to try to get my little brain wrapped around it.

So, I'll leave you with an AMAZING verse from The Message Bible. Matthew 6:34
Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Monday, November 8, 2010

A new blog


Well, the Lord has laid something on my heart...And, I felt the best place to share it was on a new blog. Why..not sure. But, alas here I am....


Yesterday our precious pastor preached on Philippeans 4. Here are the verses that truly inspired me...4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.


Of course, I've heard that 254 times...but THIS time I realized something. Will may/may not be healed on earth. I pray that EVERY day. But, today....TODAY....I realized this....I am peaceful. For the first time in years...I am peaceful. And, it's because of God's goodness and mercy.


See...there is truly nothing "earthly" for me to be peaceful about. I quit the teaching job I loved more than anything to homeschool a child who HATES school. Will has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, OCD, tic disorder, learning disability, I think he's dyslexic, speech impairment, and severe sensory disorders. We are getting him testing for a form of autism called Aspergers' Syndrome. But, yet...my heart is peaceful. And, it was that Bible verse today that made me realize it. And, for that, I am so incredibly grateful to the God of the Universe. :) Joy. :)